I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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