I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
