When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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