I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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