I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
