No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
