You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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