Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Im part way to drunk.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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