You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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