Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How does one acquire holy water?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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