I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
