what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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