i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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