May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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