Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
