someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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