I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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