WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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