So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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