i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
