Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
