I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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