I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
