It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Text me some of your sweat
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