dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
