I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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