I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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