The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
