Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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