I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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