i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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