90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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