Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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