everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
