The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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