I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
its liver damage thursday
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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