and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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