You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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