I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
