It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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