Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
