If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
love makes seman taste better
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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