uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
