I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Your cock deserves a montage
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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