I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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