I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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