I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
