doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
