It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
