I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
