i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
