I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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