can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
