Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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