Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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