We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
