Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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