I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
