is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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