She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
