Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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