so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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