it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize