Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He did a backflip because drugs
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