Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
